Writing Lessons From... Platonic and Mythic Quest aka Can Two Characters Just Be Friends Without Kissing?
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Ah, the age-old question. Can a man and a woman, both heterosexual, be friends and only friends, with zero kissing or sex involved?
Good question, and an often fun dynamic to explore in the stories we’re telling.
I never had cause to really think about this until recently. Usually, when writing a story with a male and female acting as friends, I will wonder at a spark, at some flirting, whether there could be something more.
It’s one of those things we’re conditioned to believe by society. That heterosexual men and woman cannot be just friends.
Except that of course they can.
And we should be writing about those kind of friendships, because they’re INTERESTING!
Let’s take a look at two examples, the two things that I watched recently that inspired this whole thing.
Here comes the disclaimer! Before you lie spoilers for Mythic Quest and Platonic.
If you’re a big fan and aren’t caught up yet, first of all, where have you been? Secondly, you might want to go watch first!
(Both Mythic Quest – all four seasons – and Platonic are available on Apple TV.)
Platonic is a comedy about two friends coming back into each other’s lives in middle age and both firmly in mid-life crisis. Will (Seth Rogen) is a craft beer brewer and just coming out of a divorce from the woman his best friend, Sylvia (Rose Byrne), couldn’t stand – hence they’re friendship going on hiatus during the course of his marriage.
Sylvia is a mother of three who put her career as a lawyer on the backburner to be a mum. Her husband Charlie (Luke Macfarlane) is also a lawyer who’s just made partner, and their family is in dire need of a bigger house, which costs money they don’t have.
When you break it down, including all the stuff I haven’t told you, there’s a LOT going on in Platonic. And at the forefront, throughout all of it, is the coming back together of Will and Sylvia, and their strong friendship bond.
On the flip side, we have Mythic Quest. Another comedy, Mythic Quest follows a gaming company led by ideas genius Ian (Iron) (played by Rob McElhenney) and developer genius Poppy (Charlotte Nicdao) and we follow their business relationship and friendship alongside that of the other characters in the company.
Ian often takes Poppy for granted, Poppy works too hard and has bad ideas, and the crux of the whole thing is that when they’re not together, they can’t make anything good. Their creative magic is in their relationship.
Two examples of platonic relationships. One of which, I think, was done incredibly well, and one of which fell apart.
Shall we start with the one that did it well?
The thing I loved most about Platonic – yes, that’s the one that did it well – is that there is zero sexual or romantic connection between Sylvia and Will. The idea of expecting them to kiss or drunkenly fall into bed together doesn’t cross the mind, because, ew!
That is purely in how they’re written. The vibes are friendship only. They love one another deeply and can be incredibly honest with each other. There’s a deep connection there that you would expect from a romantic couple, except there’s no spark.
Both Will and Sylvia are going through a mid-life crisis, which makes for interesting storytelling purely on the basis that it involves change. I was fascinated by Sylvia’s attempt to get back into her law career and of Will trying so hard to build up his brewing business while balancing his strong values.
But, as with all stories, it’s the relationships that keep you watching, and all of these mishaps in their lives and crises are devices for explaining the relationships and moving them forward, one way or another.
There were two things I loved the most about Platonic’s storytelling:
- Will and Sylvia came back into each other’s lives at a crucial time, when they desperately needed one another and they have a huge impact on one another. Will helps Sylvia to not buy the horrible house out of desperation; because of their renewed friendship, his business partner is introduced to her other friend and they get married, sparking Sylvia’s new career; and Sylvia pushes Will into his new job, a major life change and finding his new love.
It’s perfectly representative of real-life friendships. True friends who are able to move in and out of each other’s lives, picking up where they dropped off, as needed. - Will and Sylvia never had a problem with their friendship, and they never saw any potential problem for anyone else. They’re simply two people who get along incredibly well, even if they’ve been apart for years.
It’s everyone around them that has the problem. Everyone around them that feels as if there must be something else going on.
Sylvia’s husband is accepting, until he starts to find it weird. Will’s ex-wife is vocal about how strange their friendship is. Sure, there’s a message here about boundaries that probably also exists for same-sex friendships, but I found it a fascinating look at the male-female friendship that it never crosses their minds to do anything more than be friends. That concept is just in everyone else’s heads.
As a result, Will and Sylvia’s friendship, and Platonic as a whole, is warm, fuzzy, funny and safe. The lack of any romantic or sexual spark feels safe, you know that if this friendship is going to be ruined, it won’t be in a catastrophic, life-changing way. They’ll always be able to return to each other.
And then there’s Mythic Quest
The first three seasons of Mythic Quest left me equally fascinated by Ian and Poppy’s friendship as Will and Sylvia’s. Ian and Poppy’s relationship is based on friendship, but also business, giving it another level and element to cause issues.
Throughout the show, we’re shown them trying to figure out how to make this alliance work. It’s clear that they need each other, as much as they dislike it, and isn’t that a fascinating concept?
Not once in four seasons did I feel there was a sexual or romantic spark between the two. They feel like deeply connected souls – like Will and Sylvia – and more like brother and sister than friends.
Unlike Platonic, Poppy and Ian aren’t helping each other move on with their lives or overcome problems, per se. They’re just creating beautiful things together.
So it makes sense that this should become an issue when, in season four, Poppy is making something beautiful with her boyfriend instead: a baby.
Even then, the pregnancy is never an issue between Ian and Poppy. There’s no jealously, just an acceptance of life happening.
And then the final episode of season four happened, Ian and Poppy kissed, and it all came tumbling down.
Two characters kissing, when there has been no effective spark or buildup, just doesn’t work. I have no idea where they got this notion that Poppy and Ian should kiss!
Is this because of society’s expectations?
Sure, have Poppy not want to leave Ian to be with her boyfriend in Europe, that makes sense: Poppy and Ian need one another.
But not like that.
On the other hand – because I’ve given this so much thought – did the kiss need to happen? Was there no other choice? If Poppy can’t leave Ian, should they just give in, be together and raise this baby?
NO!
A man and a woman can be friends and business partners without having sex or being in love with one another.
Poppy could stay, they could leave Mythic Quest together and start again from scratch, with no working restrictions so Poppy could raise her baby, and they could have new, exciting adventures creating games.
Sometimes, no matter how hard you push two characters together, it just doesn’t work.
It’s okay for a heterosexual man and woman to be friends, to have a deep connection, without the kissing and falling into bed together.
That way leads to interesting stories and relationships and plot devices to move your story forward. It keeps the reader or watcher invested, because maybe they don’t know what’s going to happen, but they know they’re safe in this relationship.
They know it’s not going to blow up.
It pays to do the unexpected. To go against societal norms, to question what people expect, to turn the thing on its head.
In fact, that often makes the best storytelling.
Writing a good platonic relationship is much the same as creating a romantic one, there’s just no spark involved. The depth, the connection, the shared values and love for one another is all the same.
When all else fails, listen to your characters. They’ll tell you what’s right for them.
It turns out Mythic Quest has now been cancelled, there will be no season five.
I’m sure it’s not because of the kiss, but it sort of feels like it is.